Birth Order and Personality

I have always been fascinated by this theory; that the order of your birth and the amount of children raised in a family, the ages of each, may have a profound effect on decision making processes that we are not even aware of. Aside from the obvious factors; religious upbringing, social status, environment and behavior of parental guidance...there is the birth order that plays a huge role in how we deal with life. There are other factors that play a role in our life, too; dietary habits, recreational habits, sexual habits...but how many of these habits are created or influenced by our birth order?

There are many of us that suffer from different phobias and we have no idea why...we have psychosis that we suffer from and I think the answer is sometimes more simple and can be attributed to something as simple and natural as our birth order. If you are pushy or obnoxious, this could be why...if you are needy and self conscious, this could be why...if you are conceited and arrogant, this could be why...I am not trying to offer excuses for certain behavior...just merely pointing out to those that read this...they and others around them may be effected by something they are not even aware of.

Perhaps taking a gander at this article and the many different things it discusses, taking a personality test or just reading certain aspects might give a better understanding to some of you about your own personality and how to be more understanding of others. For example, in the first moments of a conversation with someone you meet, asking them how many children are in their family and finding out the age of each and where that person is located in the birth order would give you valuable insight into that persons thought processes. Maybe the situation doesn't allow it to transpire...it could be considered a bit personal for a new relationship...However, if you ask them key questions...like are you an only child? do you have any siblings? You might be able to glean a smidgeon or morsel that gives you an idea of what you are dealing with. This can help with business and personal relationships to guide the compatibility quotient with specific people in specific situations.


psychcentral.com...

Quick! Tell me what order you are in the family and what that means to you. Were you the youngest, the baby, who was taken care of, protected (perhaps spoiled) and not left to make your own decisions? Were you the oldest, who had all the pressure and demands placed on you to “set an example?” Or were you a middle, or lost child, who kind of fell through the cracks? You weren’t really special on either end of the spectrum, were you? You may have even been the peacemaker as the middle child, trying to maintain the calm in a family that was otherwise a little chaotic.

1) psychcentral.com...
2) psychcentral.com...
3) psychcentral.com...


I took the first quiz for fun and it was just 10 simple questions to help you gauge certain aspects of your personality; it didn't really offer insight into the birth order nuances.

psychcentral.com...

This personality test is 50 questions and it also doesn't specify anything about birth order, but it was interesting to see the results. Not really necessary to share them.

For the record, I am a middle child in a family of 4, my older sister is 2 1/2 years before me, my younger sister is 3 years below and then I have a younger brother who is 10 years my junior. The dynamics of our family changed drastically when my younger brother was born, but my personality had already been affected/inflicted by the middle child syndrome.

There is, also, another factor not mentioned...adoption and the place that child takes in a family dynamic. They could be from a broken home or orphaned, they may have other siblings, they may have come from foster care or another country even, so those factors weigh heavily on their personality, too.

In my family I can see many indications of personality based on birth order...my older sister has always been the smartest and the one to overachieve so she is very opinionated and thinks she is right 99% of the time. My younger sister is closer to me in personality...we always try to get along and do our best to measure up to our older sister. We adapt easier to different social situations and make friends easily...we are intelligent, but don't think we know it all. My younger brother is spoiled rotten and has been babied his whole life and has a sense of entitlement. He is intelligent and can be friendly, but he shares more of the arrogant behavior and the know it all attitude of my older sister. Part of this is due to the fact we had left the house before he reached a certain age and essentially, along with already being the spoiled rotten younger child, he graduated to being the only child in a household that had changed in social status with parents that could afford a different lifestyle...that is not to say me and my other siblings were deprived, because we weren't... it is just to suggest the family focus of my parents was more directly channeled in his direction.

Family dynamics are often overlooked when we are searching for answers to our own personality behavior patterns, the purpose of this thread was to shine a light in that direction for your sake and the sake of others.

Take care,

Middle Child Soul

Psychology is part of it.

A bigger part, however, is (in my own opinion) epigenetics. Not only will it affect you, but it also gets passed on to your children as a predilection.

reply to post by soulpowertothendegree


I was at my wits end with my youngest child when he was in grade school. He had been diagnosed with ADHD but it was mild and more of a psychological nature.Therefore medicine wouldn't help. He needed a new way to be disciplined and I didn't really know anything but what I had learned from my parents.

I was driving to work one day and heard this guy on the radio talking about birth order and how it affects how you should deal with your children, his book was called "Making children mind without losing yours" By Dr. Kevin Leman. I got the book and changed how I dealt with my son,and went on to read his other books.He goes more indepth in the other books telling how birth order affects all of us,and speaks about the lonely only and disabled children etc. and how it changes the birth order. Honestly I think he is spot on about it. His books are a pleasure to read with a tongue in cheek attitude,while still getting the information across. I know looking at me and my siblings that is sure is true.

heh, naturally these kinds of self report inventories are flawed, but hey they are fun

I am the 1st of 4.

Get ready for my narcissism
oh and conflicting reports




Extraversion
You appear to be not particularly extraverted, nor particularly introverted. You appear to have a balance between your energy and activity levels, and in the amount of social interaction you have with others.

Agreeableness
You appear to hold a generally neutral view of humanity and others -- you appear to be somewhat compassionate and cooperative, but also at times suspicious about other people's motivations. While you see the value of getting along with others, you'll speak your mind when you feel like it. You probably hope that most people are honest, but are pragmatic enough to realize many are not.

Conscientiousness
You scored higher than many people on conscientiousness, suggesting you may sometimes value self-discipline (in others, if not always in yourself), trying to act dutifully when you can, and perhaps aiming for some kind of achievement in your life. You likely have a preference for planned rather than spontaneous activities and behavior. You are probably not usually thought of as being impulsive. You tend to avoid trouble and strive to achieve high levels of success through purposeful planning and persistence. You are also positively regarded by others as intelligent and reliable.

Emotional Stability
You appear to be neutral in the trait of emotional stability. You are likely emotionally stable in most of your day to day activities, but occasionaly have emotional reactions to stressful or difficult situations.

Openness to Experiences
You have scored quite high on your openness to experiences. This suggests a general appreciation for art, emotion, adventure, unusual ideas, imagination, curiosity, and variety of experience. The trait distinguishes imaginative people from down-to-earth, conventional people. People who are open to experience are intellectually curious, appreciative of art, and sensitive to beauty. They tend to be more creative and more aware of their feelings, and are more likely to hold unconventional beliefs.

bigfatfurrytexan
Psychology is part of it.

A bigger part, however, is (in my own opinion) epigenetics. Not only will it affect you, but it also gets passed on to your children as a predilection.

First off, the birth order is about psychology entirely. You threw a big word out there that I am not familiar with, maybe you spelled it wrong...care to explain that? There are genetics, but that is not what I am talking about in this thread. There are many factors involved in personality behavior, however, the birth order is often overlooked by those seeking answers about their own behavior or others in their family or people they work with or socialize with.

If you want to claim something is a bigger part of something it would help if you had a basis for said belief

reply to post by Lysergic


Would be more interested in knowing what your birth order is, how many siblings? What ages separate you? Do you attribute any of your personality traits that you exhibited in your testing to your birth order...or are you of the mind that it plays little part?

soulpowertothendegree
reply to post by Lysergic

 

Would be more interested in knowing what your birth order is, how many siblings? What ages separate you? Do you attribute any of your personality traits that you exhibited in your testing to your birth order...or are you of the mind that it plays little part?

I am first of four.
5 yr gap, 11 yr gap, 19yr gap

Some, as first born you are expected to set the example, you are the one who has to push the boundaries for yourself(against the theoretical rules the parents thought would work). Those coming behind you will have it easier as you've pushed your way and didn't die so the next in line get it even easier when it comes to that. I do remember when my first sister was born, being five, I asked can we put her back so I can get a brother? I was thinking how when I was at a store if I was allowed to get candy, I could change my mind before we paid and get a different one. No I agree with birth order having an effect, I mean you can look at my other siblings and see the differences. What I find the strangest is my youngest sister is the most like me. Mannerisms, Behaviors, asker of too many questions.

Hmmm, well, I'm no narcissist. That was a 3.

In fact, I think I scored so low on that I might be the opposite of narcissist. I got blips in authority and self-sufficiency and that's it.

For the other, I scored highly in agreeableness, openness and conscientiousness with low scores in neuroticism and extroversion.

I am the first of two children. We were both girls, and my sister is four years younger.

Ah good times. I remember doing a report on birth order in high school. It is pretty interesting stuff, but now that I'll be entering my 30s here in another year I'd have to say that it all can turn on its head pretty easily (as compared to how it affected your life when you were younger).
I would also say that other major components going along with birth order are the financial stability, parental stability (like divorce or step-parents) and nutrition during certain developmental time-frames of your and your sibling's life. Also, I would add whether or not a sibling moves a decent distance away and thereby "gets away" from all the things that birth order was previously affecting.
I have examples of each of these in my family--which changed a lot while my sister's and I were growing up.

What I find the strangest is my youngest sister is the most like me. Mannerisms, Behaviors, asker of too many questions.

reply to post by Lysergic


In terms of sibling gap, after six years that next child is more likely to exhibit first-born traits due to the amount of attention that baby will likely receive from parents...not to mention extra siblings helping develop that baby.

reply to post by soulpowertothendegree


a quick primer on epigenetics:

en.wikipedia.org...

a snippet:

n biology, and specifically genetics, epigenetics is the study of heritable changes in gene activity that are not caused by changes in the DNA sequence; it also can be used to describe the study of stable, long-term alterations in the transcriptional potential of a cell that are not necessarily heritable. Unlike simple genetics based on changes to the DNA sequence (the genotype), the changes in gene expression or cellular phenotype of epigenetics have other causes, thus use of the term epi- (Greek: επί- over, outside of, around) -genetics.[1]

Essentially, your DNA is the book. Epigenetics is the story.

How is this relevant?

Epigentics can relate to social stress. Having 18 kids under 1 roof is a social stress known as "crowding".

This isn't "woo" or "conspiracy theory". its real science, and it is bridging the gap between psychology and genetics. I think the further it gets studied, the more we will realize that the answers like in the epigentic traits

I'm the eldest of all my siblings - And this much I can tell you: I don't know if it was because I was always the adventurous child, but it seemed to me my parents looked more to my other siblings than myself.

Looking back it always seemed to be the case - I was always off on some kind of adventure, and I rarely recall either parent telling me to "stay safe" - they said it to my brothers and sisters all the time. I can still remember the day I got poked in the foot with a rusty nail, or the day my right hand landed on three of them while moving a piece of the wood for a fort - I told them what had happened, and they never rushed me off to get a tatanus shot - when my brother did, he only got scraped and they rushed him off.

Also, I was never expected to be the "role model", that job was on my younger brother - he was the one that got the good grades; I was the infamous trouble maker.

Finally, I noticed that both my youngest sibling and myself are highly introverted - don't know if it's because of similar circumstances (IE: She was supposed to follow in everyone else's footprints, and I was supposed to leave them), but it's something I noticed with other friends who were the oldest.

-fossilera

reply to post by fossilera


How many children are there in your family and what are specific age differences? Also, gender plays a part in the equation too, but I believe the amount of children and the spacing of ages play a huge role. There is a tendency to learn from mistakes with older children and become overprotective of younger.

Lysergic

soulpowertothendegree
reply to post by Lysergic

 

Would be more interested in knowing what your birth order is, how many siblings? What ages separate you? Do you attribute any of your personality traits that you exhibited in your testing to your birth order...or are you of the mind that it plays little part?

I am first of four.
5 yr gap, 11 yr gap, 19yr gap

Some, as first born you are expected to set the example, you are the one who has to push the boundaries for yourself(against the theoretical rules the parents thought would work). Those coming behind you will have it easier as you've pushed your way and didn't die so the next in line get it even easier when it comes to that. I do remember when my first sister was born, being five, I asked can we put her back so I can get a brother? I was thinking how when I was at a store if I was allowed to get candy, I could change my mind before we paid and get a different one. No I agree with birth order having an effect, I mean you can look at my other siblings and see the differences. What I find the strangest is my youngest sister is the most like me. Mannerisms, Behaviors, asker of too many questions.

I don't find that strange at all, the younger almost always will try to emulate the oldest, even negative traits. Thanks for sharing.

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan


Still doesn't support your statement that your epigenetics play a larger role in the development of personality behavior. It is merely possibly a factor, but not a majority cause. As, I said the order of birth is one of many factors involved in determining how we evolve as people. There are different levels of intelligence and even dare I suggest, enlightenment from the spiritual being that has nothing to do with genetics. Would you care to share with us the ages of your siblings or if you are an only child? There are factors in play that many do not even consider where birth order is concerned, for instance if you are always getting the hand me downs or ignored when a new child is born, or how the dynamics of religion in a typical family influences choices being made for different siblings...there are so many ways the order of birth can influence the early stages of our personality that DNA or genetics of any kind are nullified to a degree. Cultural biases play a huge part depending what country you were born in. Many times that is determined by order of birth as well.

ketsuko
Hmmm, well, I'm no narcissist. That was a 3.

In fact, I think I scored so low on that I might be the opposite of narcissist. I got blips in authority and self-sufficiency and that's it.

For the other, I scored highly in agreeableness, openness and conscientiousness with low scores in neuroticism and extroversion.

I am the first of two children. We were both girls, and my sister is four years younger.

Yeah the personality quizzes are a bit vague. However, I would be curious to know more about the dynamics of your relationship with your sister...are you close? Did you set a good example for her to follow? Was she spoiled more than you? Was she protected more? The age difference is such that it is close enough that you 2 could share certain things in common, but far enough apart that there could be many differences. Was she always trying to tag along? Did you let her? Did you think she was a nuisance? Did she come to you for advice? Did you go to the same school? Also, you suggested you both WERE girls, as in past tense? Was that a grammar slip? Just curious, not poking fun.

awakendhybrid
Ah good times. I remember doing a report on birth order in high school. It is pretty interesting stuff, but now that I'll be entering my 30s here in another year I'd have to say that it all can turn on its head pretty easily (as compared to how it affected your life when you were younger).
I would also say that other major components going along with birth order are the financial stability, parental stability (like divorce or step-parents) and nutrition during certain developmental time-frames of your and your sibling's life. Also, I would add whether or not a sibling moves a decent distance away and thereby "gets away" from all the things that birth order was previously affecting.
I have examples of each of these in my family--which changed a lot while my sister's and I were growing up.

Those are all good points you have made. Certainly, at some point we do some growing up. The birth order and differences in ages from one sibling to the next still effect the dynamics of the family even in distances. So, tell me what grade did you get on your paper and what were some of the highlights from your report? Also, do share with us your own family dynamics...as much as you care to...but at least how many and ages and where you fit in.

reply to post by soulpowertothendegree


I am not likely a 'typical person'.

But for what its worth, i am both an oldest child, and a 3rd child.

I have an older brother and sister that I played with as a baby. They were my dads from his first marriage. He was a cad that I disowned when I was 12. Their mother wouldn't let them have contact with any of us, due to her hate of my father, once I was around 3 years old. I haven't seen either of them since, but remember them in pieces of memories.

My mom had 1 other child, with my stepdad (who i call "dad", and who i loved as my dad), who also had 2 prior daughters (1 older, 1 younger). I am fairly close with my step sisters, but they never lived with me. My half sisster I see all the time, but she is of a personality that makes it difficult to tolerate more than a few minutes of.

My father went on to have half a dozen other kids with other women (that i know of, there are most likely others I am unaware of). I know and talk to 1 other, who is the same age as my other half sister that my mom had. she and I talk on rare occasion, maybe once every couple of years. I never lived with her. Of all the others, the only names I have is a first name of a sister that is around 5 years younger than me (Stephanie). I know my two elder siblings names, but only the first names (Steve and Debbie). He is 2 years old, she is 5 years older.

I haven't thought about any of that in a long time. Glad you reminded me. I need to tell my youngest son, so he knows the mess that we started out as, and why what I have taught him is so important.

I am 12 years older than the only sister I ever lived with. I am nothing like any person in my family, other than the way I look.

reply to post by soulpowertothendegree


Eldest of four - 1 year gap for a brother, and about 4 year's gap for the other two.

Seeing as I was the child always looking to get into something, I guess I set the trend on what my parents needed to look out for, so they didn't get away with as much that I did.

I don't need a fancy formula to figure that out.

Only child isn't apt to be a sharing type.
Middle child often the black sheep of the family, more emotional.
Oldest child is often bossy
Youngest often weird.